Every soccer coach in the country experienced painful flashbacks of their own players scoring own goals after watching the Ben Roberts-Smith defamation verdict today.
The disgraced soldiers action is now widely regarded as the biggest own goal in Australian litigation history. A legal expert told The Times,
“Remember, he was the plaintiff. He started this. Now he’s been found to have done some pretty crook shit while deployed and he even has to pay for the privilege! What a total wanker”legal expert
We spoke to a coach who just last week lost a game after his spud of a defender heeled one right through his own keeper’s legs. He told The Times,
“I’d tried to put it past me but then it all came flooding back when ole G.I Jerkoff here scored the biggest own goal in history. He was after money and in the process exposed himself as a bigger war crimal than before. Unreal”
It cannot be denied that Ben Roberts-Smith has set a record for own goals. Especially given the pressure the public will put on the ADF to pursue the allegations criminally now.
Many soccer coaches are wondering why he went to the effort. One described it as Messi expertly dribbling through his own defence, only to flank to the corner and then score one to the back of the net with his off foot. That’s how big an own goal this was. He added,
“What a malaka! Just write a book snitching on yourself or something. He could’ve got paid to do that!”
No doubt you’ll read all about it in 7 West publications.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?