Criminal jurisdictions around Australia have come up with a novel deterrent to try and correct the course of many of the nation’s repeat offenders.
The core principle of imprisonment is retained however the institution housing them will be different – move over prison and say hello to an unbreakable contract with the Essendon footy club.
We spoke to a criminal justice expert who said the new punishment would send shivers down scumbags spines. Adding,
“Various Governments across Australia will be running an advertisement campaign which just shows Merret’s face when he learned he will never be able to leave the shackles of Essendon. It’s haunting stuff and we think it could have the legs to enact real change”
In the interest of good journalism, we tracked down a repeat offender who claimed he was in the process of turning his life around, adding,
“Yeah fark that mate, a life of crooooime just ain’t worth it now, I gotta get clean, get a job and do everything I can to avoid the sorta fate Merret copped”
Naturally, Essendon has taken some offence to being used as a punitive tool. With a source close to the footy club telling The Times,
“Essendon has a wonderful culture and success is just around the corner. So don’t fear being sentenced to our ranks”
Ominous indeed.
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