Rockingham man, Crayson, has woken up with a real spring in his step. The sun is shining and it’s the king’s birthday – for the uninitiated, Crayson considers himself the king of Rocko. Like a true king, he actually chose his own name which is a portmanteau of crazy and son – or according to his Aussie hip hop ad-lib – “I’m cray son!”
To celebrate such a wonderful day he’s decided to have those knuckles facing forward as descends upon the suburb’s foreshore strip.
Crayson’s haters would argue that given he walks like this 99.9% of the time, it wasn’t a hard decision for him. Alas, he argues that they don’t understand the nuance in his knuckle orientation. He told The Times,
“There’s a big difference between king knuckles and ya-wanna-go-dog-knuckles. This is more like when the military flies its planes over and that. Just a show of strength that will dazzle every female in the vicinity. They’ll think – what a king”
Not only will those knuckles be facing forward at all times but he’s vowed to increase the lift on his invisible lat syndrome display by a whopping 5 cm. He continued,
“Grabbed the extra large canoes for today. I reckon it’s a public service. When I’m in the vicinity everyone knows not to try anything cos I am forced to be reckoned with and my invisible lats prove that, I reckon”
Police have advised members of the public that it’s only a BLUE ALERT and cyclone Crayson isn’t an immediate threat to the public. They will however be closely monitoring the tightness of his fist grip. A spokesperson told The Times,
“Once we see the veins popping in his forearms we’ll upgrade to a yellow alert. If he starts talking about the Harley he’s going to buy then we might have to upgrade to red. Then you will need to take immediate shelter”
Stay safe out there Rocko. Crayson is on the prowl.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
