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Saturday, May 16, 2026
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Search Results for: old mate

Dunsborough Toolies’ mere existence motivates group of leavers to get on the straight & narrow

November 21, 2023

Typically, Toolies are regarded as a merciless shitstain on the fitted sheets of society. They are mature-aged revellers who graduated many years ago and really…

FIFO Bloke Who Spends All Day in Air Con Tells Perth to Harden Up This Week

November 21, 2023

Thanks to a nifty combination of contacts high up and general incompetence, Cal hasn’t seen a hard day’s work since he could see his peen…

Aussie cricketers not sure if they won the World Cup or went to a silent retreat

November 20, 2023

While there were signs of life early, the atmosphere in Narenda Modi Stadium in Ahmedabad quickly made Rolf Harris’ funeral seem like a lively shindig.…

Pop Tops line of alcoholic beverages quietly scrapped after backlash to Hard Solo

November 16, 2023

Drinks giant Asahi has quietly scrapped its plans to release Alcopop-Tops after the heat Hard Solo has copped since releasing its 4.5% lemon squash. After…

Lady-Toolies to outnumber male counterparts as middle aged women flock to Dunsborough to party with Nicolas Cage

November 14, 2023

Move over weird dudes who graduated a decade ago, there is a new menace expected to be a pest at Leavers this year – the…

What your favourite Perth train line says about you

November 13, 2023

Generally speaking, Perth and public transport go together as well as smegma flavouring and confectionary. Alas, it’s unavoidable and given the average state of a…

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