The Mating Ritual of the Southerner

Here we see the mating ritual of the southern derro. 

Mr Mandurah is proposing to Ms Belmont over a crab feed with a ring that he acquired through the act of home invasion. It appears that Mr Mandurah believed he had successfully mated with the female and has inscribed the child’s name on his arm to warn off potential rivals. 

As life so commonly goes in the inharmonious south, Mr Rockingham has sprung the pair and has produced a birth certificate to lay claim to the child. He too proudly inscribes the boganling’s name on his patriotic arm and storms in to defend his woman’s honour while wielding a trolley pole like a poorcunt sword. The pair now lock horns and the winner of the rumble will be crowned Ms Belmont’s king and have a hand in neglectfully raising the child with their own brand of ashtray parenting. 

Remarkably, the romantic public-smash has been noticed by the Maori bouncer that Mr Mandurah coward punched the weekend before. The bouncer waits like a violent vulture to give Mr Mandurah a taste of his own back-of-the-head punching medicine. 

Of course, justice in the southern jungle is never black and white, and Mr Mandurah adamantly defends the coward’s punch as he had caught his princess fellating the bouncer in exchange for a bag of gear that he had stolen off Mr Rockingham who was rendered unconscious in a pool cue fight that was sparked because “some cunt keep looking” at him. 

This is truly, the circle of life. 

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?


Art by Shakey