A humble ram in WA’s Wheatbelt has finally been recognised for what WA locals have known all along – possessing the finest balls in the country.
The peak tourism bodies of Australia undertook a secret survey where they considered which Australian icon possessed not only the biggest but most glorious pair of speed bags in the game. We spoke to a judge who told The Times,
“Between you and me the decision was made well before judging any other landmark. I mean, look at them. Absolutely spectacular set of tackle. Bart has lived with the burden of his weighty balls his whole life so it’s only fitting he got the nod”
A spokesperson for Bart told The Times that the accolade wasn’t going to get to his head. Adding,
“Bart knows what he’s packing. He’s a show-er, not a grower. If anything he’s just bemused at the honour. In his words, Baaaahhhhhhhhhlbags”
Bart will be heading to Europe next month to compete in the world’s best balls competition. A competition his fans say he has already won anyway. A superfan told The Times,
“I proposed to my wife under Bart’s huge beanbags. They say there isnt much happening in Wagin but I say, have you seen these balls? So damn good. I can’t wait for my first kid to look upon these lollybags and say woah”
Congratulations Bart. It’s a title I’m sure you’ll uphold for years to come. Truly, magnificent balls.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
