BREAKING: Albany Announces Shock Retirement

After 196 years in the WA city game, Albany has made the brave decision to hang up its hat and enjoy its twilight years without the pressure of competing for WA’s regional tourism hub crown.

Albany said it was inspired by the large contingent of retirees who had made the decision to spend their kid’s inheritance while soaking up some of the finest dreary, cold weather in the world.

A spokesperson for Albany told The Times,

“Albany is not a youthful place, it’s a place to pack it in and take stock of a life well lived. Accordingly, Albany itself has decided to join its population and call stumps”

Albany is expected to fill its days with lovely walks in the rain, dodging potholes and getting balls deep into wacky conspiracy theories. By all reports Albany couldn’t be happier.

A spokesperson for Albany told The Times that Albany was tired and admittedly never fully got over Perth being chosen ahead of it for WA’s capital. Adding,

“Albany always wondered what if? It could have had it all. The freeway, the Indiana Tea House, a similarly empty CBD but with more buildings. It did the best it could all these years but it’s hard to play in the reserves when you were the star pick”

It seems Albany’s decision may have also been inspired in part, by the Mandurah Canal district’s decision to retire many years ago. 

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?