Chevron has responded desperately to claims by the UN that its Gorgon Project is spewing out methane at a rate of 7.8 tonnes/hour.
In a statement released to the media, the American Giant said,
“BAD DOG, BAD DOG, phwoaaaar, who has been feeding him pie meat again, sorry guys, it was the dog”
The UN were quick to rubbish Chevron’s claims despite their insistence. A source close to the UN told The Times,
“In one surreal video conference meeting, they actually dragged some dog they found from the Pilbara and pretended like it ripped-arse again, we were not convinced”
When asked what they were going to do about this egregious amount of methane being spewed into the atmospheer, they responded,
“Here at Chevron we are committed to the environment, I think our record speaks to that, so from now on the dog will be on the dry kibble rather than the sloppy cans of Chum, let’s see if that turns things around”
One might accuse Chevron of not taking their environmental responsibilities seriously.
Surely not?
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?