Coldplay Confirmed To Play At Perth Stadium Later This Year, Simmo Asks If They Can Come A Bit Earlier

Pop superstars Coldplay have confirmed they’ll be playing at Perth Stadium as part of their global tour. They are expected to lace up around mid-November but Eagles coach Adam Simpson has other plans. 

Talking to The Times, Simmo has confirmed that Chris Martin looks like a decent replacement for Jai Culley, adding,

“A lot of people don’t know the kind of impact Chris Martin can have. He’s 186cm tall and has amazing hands. He’s stayed very healthy with all his riches and insiders say he nailed level 12 on the beep test. We’ll take him”

Simmo began salivating while thinking about another 4 able bodies on his bench. He continued,

“We’re always on the lookout for drummers like Will Champion. You got to be fit to drum and he looks like Chapman if you squint, so he’ll do. Not to mention the bassist who would fit in perfectly as a greasy little tagging weasel that we need so Gibney can get back in the thick of it”

Under the agreement, Mark McGowan has stipulated each member of Coldplay but in at least 2 weeks in the WAFL to liability reasons. Naturally, the WAFL is stoked for the extra bodies too. 

A spokesperson for the band told The Times that everyone was excited to play at Perth Stadium and were happy to repay the Perth public for their enthusiastic response. Adding,

“Chris is really excited to play at Perth Stadium. He’s been busy learning the rules and just keeps screaming BALLLLLL or DELIBERATE at people. He’s also started to boo people he doesn’t like. I think he’ll get on pretty well with the Eagles family”

If Simmo is successful, the band will be playing at Perth Stadium through the months of July-September. If they get that far. 

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