Perth Man Farewells Friends And Begins His Social Hibernation As The Mercury Hits Low 20s

Bailey usually commences his social hibernation at the start of winter however a cold front has motivated the young man to cut ties with his mates a little earlier this year. 

Looking out the window at the grey, drizzly sky, the shorts-enthusiast, and all round sun-hound reportedly said “fark this” and signed up to an additional 4 streaming services. He told The Times,

“My personal brand is fun in the sun, mate. I ain’t going to the pub to stand around a fkn heater. I won’t do it. It’s everything I stand against. Look at these calves. Do you think they deserve to be covered up? Forgetaboutit”

A close friend of Bailey decided to play devil’s advocate and noted that while the sky wasn’t blue it was far from the arctic tundra he was making it out to be. His mate told The Times,

“He’ll happily swelter in direct 40 degree sunlight for 6 hours with a warm pint but a 22 degree day? No chance. Says it’s not fit for human habitation. You’ll find him playing pocket billiards at home on the couch from like Mid May to October”

Of course, it’s not a total hibernation if his past form is anything to go by. His friends will expect to see him going as hard as humanly possible on the occasional 25 degree winter’s day. His significant other told The Times,

“Yeah, he’ll emerge from his wank-cocoon like a bloated, greasy butterfly from all the UberEats he demolishes on the couch. He’ll get so drunk that he won’t feel like going out again until Summer. It’s just his way”

Naturally, he isn’t alone in his seasonal drop in motivation. With hospo joints all over the city preparing for the population to just give up because they might have to wear a light jacket.  

Classic Perth. 

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