Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting

Scientists have been studying the Perth phenomenon of blatantly ignoring requests to move down the carriage during busy periods. Multiple theories have existed on why but now they have a definitive answer. 

It turns out, the request triggers a deep-seated emotional reaction in the Perth individual which is almost identical to how they feel approaching a merge on a busy WA road. Essentially, the Perth mind will take defensive action to prevent that individual from attempting such a basic manoeuvre. 

We spoke to the head of the study who told The Times that he originally believed the defiance was due to other factors, adding,

“The first years of my study were related to the ‘don’t fucken tell me what to do’ mentality of WA as a whole. I can now say that while that certainly comes into play the driving force, if you will, against the defiance is actually fear of the unknown”

See, when a bunch of commuters pool around the spacious door areas they feel wild & free. Once the request to move down the carriage is sent out they stare at that narrow corridor and are gripped with anxiety about who will go first, how much space to leave, etc. 

The scientist in charge also noted that the same reaction was seen in people who had never driven a car. Leading him to speculate that the reluctance to merge in any way is a genetic quirk of the Western Australian, adding,

“While understanding the root of the problem is great we are now left with the impossible situation of needing to rewire the WA genetic code to ever hope to achieve progress on this matter”

Long story short, they aren’t hopeful and the Perth train system will continue to be a stronghold of anti-merging sentiment. However, there is one glimmer of hope.

Retired bus drivers are being offered carriage-marshall jobs. As we all know the abrupt bark of a pissed off bus driver can move mountains. It may be our only hope. 

Related: Perth Driver Accused Of Being A Witch After Failing To Slam Brakes Upon Entering Tunnel | MORE: The People of Perth v the Smart Freeway: Operation Merge to Avoid the Flamin’ Ute