Embracing Nepotism

A real winner knows there are two types of jobs: the one you are qualified for and the better paid one your dad’s mate can handball to you.

Nepotism makes the world go round, baby, and it has been like that since the dawn of time, no matter how many workplaces end up as total clusterfucks due to crippling incompetency.

To truly embrace nepotism you have to slay that nagging demon in your head that suggests you should upskill or commit to professional development. Just get on your knees and gobble the throbbing member of cronyism.

Sure, you might feel bad for the deserving candidate, but there will always be someone with a Cottesloe Golf Club membership to assure you that it’s ok, and then hand you a moist towelette of unearned progression.

Once firmly within the guaranteed income nest, your goal is to gorge on the fats of entitlement while the other pleb birds starve. Ingest unearned praise and shit out excuses for cooking everything they turn their hand to.  

If someone who isn’t with the program decides to bump you out of the nest then you simply call upon your guardian angels circling above you to swoop in and send your enemies plummeting towards the ground of redundancy. 

They say someone hasn’t truly enjoyed the pleasures of nepotism until you’ve managed to get a good manager fired because they didn’t want to put up with your spoiled brat shit. What a rush. 

Always remember that the sky is the limit when it comes to nepotism. How do you think people come to run the country? Sure as shit not based on hard work and people skills. 

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?