Perth Startup To Recreate Magic Of A Cruise By Giving You Gastro And Brawling With You From Comfort Of Your Home

A Perth startup has reacted to the cost of living pressures many Australians are facing and come up with an affordable way to recreate the cruise experience in the comfort of your home. 

Dial-a-shitshow is run by a couple of enterprising Perth lads who will make you feel like a king or queen for the day when they arrive at your house choc-full of gastro and itching to throw down over whatever dispute you choose. 

We spoke to co-founder Todd who said his company was all about authenticity, adding,

“Cruises are expensive and covidy. However, we couldn’t offer a true experience without infecting you with something. Our customers want the experience to match their own memories after all”

A customer who booked their services last week said it was just like the real thing. Adding,

“We got to pick a fully bespoke hullabaloo! The wife and I decided we wanted a drunk bogan to slap her arse at the gaming table and punch on from there”

The wife said the acting was very real and couldn’t be happier with the severity of the shits she got from the staff, adding,

“It’s been a week and we are still sharting. It’s the attention to detail that makesthis service so good. We even paid for the extra old-leathery-guys-in-cockjocks package to make it extra special”

Todd said that particular add-on was very popular, telling The Times,

“Cruises are as much about a feeling as they are about imagery. We are very thorough. We can even arrange a mock emergency docking to have a you arrested and dragged off if you’re feeling spicy”

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