Hillarys Property Sales Now Conditional on Local NIMBY Approval

Hillarys NIMBYs have had an absolute gutful of new homeowners having the audacity to move into their suburb and simply “do as they please” with the property they “have the legal rights to”.

It seems no amount of passive-aggressive posts on local Facebook community groups or letter drops was getting the message across. 

A NIMBY who didn’t want to be named in fear she may actually reap what she sows told us,

“A young family purchased a house on my street and I have it on good authority that they have made no attempts to seek council approval for a second storey to match the character of the street, it has been weeks since they moved in!”

Clearly saltier than Sarah Jessica Parker’s barnyard brekkie, she continued,

“We at the Concerned Residents of Hillarys group believe Hillarys is the next Cottesloe and as such a certain standard must be reflected. You are always welcome to move out to somewhere less discerning”

Accordingly, the local council has caved in after a weekly complaint rate of 560 emails, 750 phone calls, and 50 instances of bored boomers storming the council and demanding to speak to someone about wilted rose bushes.

Accordingly, any prospective homebuyer in Hillarys will have to satisfy a group of 10 delusional residents who seem to think the Northern beach McMansion belt has “standards”. 

As part of the approval process, homebuyers will need to make guarantees that they will take measures to preserve the aesthetics of the street. Including parking “grotesque” utes in garages and making an effort each year on X-mas lights displays. 

This comes off the back of a resident threatening to sue their neighbour for ignoring repeated demands to cut their grass to the “acceptable Hillarys millimetre”. No one wants to see old Bettie out there with her ruler again. 

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?