Bartender Desperately Needs To Go To Happy Place After 1000th Lemon, Lime & Bitters Order For The Festive Season 

It’s no secret that the silly season brings with it great hordes of non-pub people. What drink do non-pub types love more than anything else? A freshly whipped up lemon, lime & bitters. No matter how gnarly the queue. 

This is a lesson that fresh bartender, Larissa, learned this season after receiving her 4000th order for a lemon, lime & bitters. It was a mixological battle she was all too familiar with after working at what seemed like hundreds of boomer parties. She told The Times,

“I like it when people order a beer. Pulling a pint is about all I am capable of at the moment. I’m a shell of my former self. Then I get an order for 6 lemon, lime & bitters. I won’t lie, I started to internally cry”

A more seasoned bartender could see the pain in her eyes and advised Larissa to go and treat herself to a full external cry in the cool room while he tackled the order. He told The Times,

“Yeah the LLB has a habit of sneaking up on you when you’re feeling under the pump. With warm glass wear and poor technique, it’ll froff up on you like no tomorrow. You can really feel the piercing gaze of customers waiting to get served while you wait for the froff to subside”

After Larissa had got it out of her system the more seasoned bartender tagged her out to have his own existential crisis in the cool room. Larissa said the mini-breakdown did her a world of good, adding,

“I came out and I knew I was good for another 10-12 LLBs this shift. I was hopeful and then I saw a bus of pensioners roll up – about 25 of them. I knew I had to go to my happy place. Urgently”

We are happy to report that Larissa didn’t have to go and cry again after the order of exactly 25 LLBs because she had drifted off into said happy place. Thinking about a utopia where the drink didn’t exist and she was free to go hard on the cream charger in between orders. 

If only such a world existed. 

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