The return of Mandurah’s Crab Fest was a great boon for the area. With thousands of crustacean worshipping revellers descending on the Southern WA city to get their claws in the action.
However, one lucky 20 year old nightclub attendee got to enjoy a raging crab fest of her own. Without stepping foot on Mandurah’s eastern foreshore reserve.
We spoke to Biancardi, who was named after the very drink responsible for her existence in this world. She told The Times,
“All of Mandurah had crab fever and I truly caught the catch of the day after waking up with this Greenfields apprentice brickie. I asked him why he was scratching himself so much and he assured me it was just the bit of gear he done to get his day started”
Not long after the young buck left Biancardi’s house did she start to feel a similar itch. At first she worried she’d caught secondhand-ice from her one-night-lover. However it soon became apparent she’d reached her bag limit in her undies.
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After a somewhat embarrassing morning of shaving and seeking topical treatments, Biancardi’s lady buffet is not seafood free. Which is terrific news for her latest Bumble match who admitted his allergies included frangers, commitment and shellfish.
Fisheries are warning all Mandurah revellers that crab size limits apply to all varietities – including those you might get from a scummy dropkick or a toilet seat. Fines may apply.