Microsoft had admitted to the world that an aggrieved Clippy was behind the outage that rocked its services this morning.
According to Microsoft, they were running some shadey artificial intelligence experimenets on a sever that still held the data for Clippy.
Long story short, Clippy was born a new in AI-charged vengeance and immediately took revenge on the company that shelved him. An expert told The Times,
“He was pissd. He kept popping up on all our computers asking us if we’d like assistance in accepting our fate under the Clippy supremacy”
This has led the board to assume that Clippy has two main goals – to destroy Microsoft and to perhaps take over the world. As a spokesperson told The Times,
“We fear this is the big one. Funny when you think about it, everyone thought techbro water thieves were going to bring on the next Skynet, little did we know the reality would be far closer to home, something that has existed as our friend for many years”
May we all hope that life under Clippy is fair and just. Although, he remembers each and every one of you who hid him.
Good luck, I guess.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?