Joel is a general in the shitcall army. He is a dull-witted drone that carpet bombs social situations with molten hot cringe, but none of his mates has the heart tell him that his banter is hard to handle… then again, “that’s what your mum said!”.

Despite being a grown man, Joel has rocked up in a novelty t-shirt he picked up in Bali 5 years ago – “I’m Not Gay, but $20 is $20”. When he’s in his “funny” shirt, watch the fark out, because he’ll be flailing his stunted comedic arms like Bantersaurus Rex

A few moments later Joel jumps up to grab a beer, he stands at the fridge and channels Barrack Obanter to bust a presidential-sized zinger, “It’s so hotttt…. aw, beer was a baaaad choice!”

He gets the depressing chuckle of the sympathetic as he desperately tries to rally support for his joke, “Anchorman guys! Geez, wake up haha!” The audacity is tantamount to a U.S war crime, yet, another atrocity is let slide in the interest of peacekeeping.

Joel suddenly wipes the goofy look off his face and subtly hints for a mate to look at his hip region. Yep, Joel has made a circle with his thumb and index finger, “GOT YA”, like a BHP train, Joel is completely off the rails.

High on bantz, he seizes an opportunity when a mate bends over to pick up a bottle top that fell close to him, “oh, while you’re down there love!” Someone bring over a glass of milk because that little tamale was spicy.

Joel feels he is on a serious hot streak, and it would only be fair for to bestow his final gift on the group like the Banter Clause he is. He notices a mate left their laptop on the coffee table. It’s time for Antonio Bant-deras to go, full desperado, “he updates the unsuspecting mates FB status, “I am gay!! I can’t keep it in anymore!!”.

You can almost hear Rove panicking and preparing for war, “when you come at the king Joel, you best not miss”.

Shitcalls affect us all, don’t let your mates become a statistic, speak up today and help stop the spread in Perth social circles.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

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