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Mr Coronavirus Conspiracy Theory

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and Todd thinking every significant world event is linked to a new world order. He hasn’t just drunk the kool-aid, he’s had a 35L cooler tipped over him on the sidelines of the reality-bowl. 

Todd had a clear direction for his paranoid ramblings when the news first broke in Australia – this was a Chinese bioweapon. It was clear, China was in cahoots with the reptilian overlords and sought to cripple the world’s economies so every nation would have to march to the beat of the tanggu. 

His paranoid shitposting sent more shockwaves through society than the San Andreas Fault. He considered every high school acquaintance who defriended him to be a badge of honour. After all, a sheeple is always scared of the woke wolf.

Over time though, Todd’s “research” led him down a completely different rabbit hole. Was there any proof that COVID-19 even exists? Well yes, but Todd knows that the sweetest tart requires only the finest cherries to be picked.

Accordingly, he decides to completely ignore Italy, Iran, Spain, New York, NSW… well, you get the picture. He had a very clear hypothesis that he would write on every single news article discussing COVID19:

“HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU *ACTUALLY* KNOW WHO HAVE COVID-19?????????”

Talk about a slam dunk from half-court. Imagine the odds that of the 7 people in Perth that can handle keeping in touch with Todd, that not ONE of them has contracted COVID-19. Why the hell hasn’t WHO been alerted? This data changes EVERYTHING (because WHO are with the lizard people you fools).

So why lie about COVID-19? Well, Todd knows that too. It’s so they can force everyone to take a “vaccine” that is really just a microchip that will be activated when 5G reaches a sufficient frequency at which point… you may want to sit down for this… we’ll all be Manchurian Candidated.

Todd explains it better in a 3 am Facebook post after 15 red bulls and 6 bongs:

“Every1 STAYING INSIDE HA HA HA… did yous ever question WHY? It was the Chino-Australian coalition seeing if you would all do as yous was told! All you widdle sheep doing what the big bad gwovernment told u!!! Hahahhahahahhahahahhahaha.. NO VIRUS THO HA HA HA DESTROYED our ECONOMICS FOR NOTHONG WAIT for stage 2..,,!”

Well said, Todd. Now, get some rest. 

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

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