Just as your grandparents whipped out the expensive dining set at Christmas, Perth also has a little razzle-dazzle they like to use when it’s time for the world to feast upon our lush offerings: the PERTH sign.
When people see the large white letters they are instantly reminded that we are fucking ballers. That’s boomtown money, baby, we had so much to squander that we had to get creative so why not a big sign to flex on the other states?
Sure, it looks like a home brand version of the Hollywood sign but that’s what Perth does so masterfully – it turns what a lot of people might call “underwhelmingly shit” into a point of Perth pride.
Accordingly, it was hard not to tear up when you stood in the shadows of sign greatness. Which was proudly displayed on the foreshore during the Red Bull Air Race series and also CHOGM 2011.
While CHOGM was a bit of a political snoozefest it did put the Queen herself in a direct collision course with the people of Perth. She was made to look at what her people had created. In all it’s rough, c-bomby glory. Priceless.
However, the Red Bull series perfectly encapsulated the yew-losophy that Perf lives by. In fact, if you weren’t on that foreshore having your eardrums blown out and your face horribly burnt by the harsh sun, then can you even call yourself a bored Perth resident?
Around CHOGM, Barnett, the former Emporer of Westralia admitted the sign was dardy but claimed that it should only be brought out for special occasions. Probably why he lost the election. People want the sign, Colin.
Now in 2020, WA is back in the spotlight for its COVID-19 efforts. We’re the star attraction in the $2 pandemic peepshow and every state is lining up with their crusty coins to get a look.
So, one must ask, is it time to put the sign back up so that these bitches recognise? Obviously.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?