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The Bell Tower Times

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Wednesday, November 05, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Pilbara Man Establishes Dominance by Refusing to Shoo Flies from Face In Front of Perth Coworkers

    Being born in the Pilbara, Rory swallowed 3 whole flies before he’d even left his mother’s womb as an infant. Some say the additional protein…

    Belle November 5, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Tradie notoriously careless with his screws & nails admits he’s on the payroll of big tyre

    A local Perth tradesman who is thought to be responsible for over 1000 ruined tyres per month has finally admitted his patented carelessness with nails…

    Belle November 5, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Ageing millennial never feels older than when looking at a festival line up

    A festival poster stuck to a fence has once again ruined an ageing millennials day as he did his best to recognise more than 1…

    Belle November 5, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times Business Entertainment

    Central accommodation, a feed and already dressed for his date with the Magistrate, Ascot race day Bogan winning

    A Perth bogan who found himself over refreshed and dangerously gee’d up has been counting his blessings while sitting in his piss soaked trousers at…

    Belle November 4, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 

    Authorities have put out an alert that it is highly likely you may fail a piss-test tomorrow if you were within a kilometre of the…

    Belle November 2, 2025
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BREAKING NEWS Featured

WA Requires Sacrifice to Appease Primitive God to Ensure Bountiful Grand Final

Belle August 31, 2021

Western Australia has been sent scrambling to adequately prepare for the Grand Final after it was announced today the MCG couldn’t host the big event.…

View More WA Requires Sacrifice to Appease Primitive God to Ensure Bountiful Grand Final
BREAKING NEWS Featured

WA to Open First School of Crypto Mines in Kalgoorlie

Belle August 31, 2021 crypto

Western Australia may be renowned as the champagne mining jurisdiction of the world but it’s losing countless workers to the allure of the real coal…

View More WA to Open First School of Crypto Mines in Kalgoorlie
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Study Finds Brain Most Creative After Some Mouth Breather Cuts You Off on the Freeway

Belle August 30, 2021

A groundbreaking study has found that thousands of motorists a day become nearly Shakespearean in their use of creative language after feeling aggrieved by some…

View More Study Finds Brain Most Creative After Some Mouth Breather Cuts You Off on the Freeway
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Mount Magnet Man has a Panic Attack over Beer Selection at Perth Microbrewery

Belle August 29, 2021

Old mate Crackers is a good ol country boy that likes the simpler things in life. His world was blown apart on a recent visit…

View More Mount Magnet Man has a Panic Attack over Beer Selection at Perth Microbrewery
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Urgent Vaccination for Bayswater Bridge Following Infected Truckies Entering the State

Belle August 27, 2021

News that two NSW truckies have entered WA infected with COVID has presented an immediate danger to Perth’s beloved big girl – The Baysie Bridge.…

View More Urgent Vaccination for Bayswater Bridge Following Infected Truckies Entering the State
Party & Entertainment

Ms Swan Valley Wine Tour

Belle August 27, 2021 BoganEntertainmentPartyyeahthegirls

Every year the Swan Valley is transformed from idyllic Australifana to a nauseating pig pen of pissed up Perthian’s sipping on peen-shaped novelty straw. Mercedes…

View More Ms Swan Valley Wine Tour

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Pilbara Man Establishes Dominance by Refusing to Shoo Flies from Face In Front of Perth Coworkers
  • Tradie notoriously careless with his screws & nails admits he’s on the payroll of big tyre
  • Ageing millennial never feels older than when looking at a festival line up
  • Central accommodation, a feed and already dressed for his date with the Magistrate, Ascot race day Bogan winning
  • Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 
  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

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  • Perth Driver Accused Of Being A Witch After Failing To Slam Brakes Upon Entering Tunnel
  • Leering Tradie Alleges He Was Catfished After Driver Of P-Plated Suzuki Swift Turned Out To Be Middle Aged Man
  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 
  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
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