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Thursday, March 19, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    Trump denies desperation after begging Perth to send floating party cube to Strait of Hormuz

    The Trumpinator 2000 is on a mission to sow chaos across the globe and is demanding his allies help chip in to a war they…

    Belle March 19, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    Coles and Woolworths thank petrol companies for taking the heat off them

    Coles and Woolworths have each sent a thankyou hamper of marked down treats to the major petrol companies for managing to keep their own despicable…

    Belle March 18, 2026
    View More
  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    Government permits Woodside to pump crude oil directly into motorists’ tanks to alleviate cost pressure

    Forget high sulphur fuel, the salvation Aussie motorists need from the fuel crisis is coming from WA’s own Woodside who have long sought to cut…

    Belle March 17, 2026
    View More
  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    St Paddy’s Day sees statewide shortage of traffic controllers in WA

    The WA construction industry has ground to a halt today after thousands of traffic controllers mysteriously called in sick on St Paddy’s Day. It is…

    Belle March 17, 2026
    View More
  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    Australians allowed early access to super to afford Easter

    The Albanese Government has rolled out a range of measures to combat the ever-burgeoning cost of living allegedly caused by the Iran war. Punters will…

    Belle March 17, 2026
    View More

From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: Claremont Quarter

Belle August 26, 2021

By 2006, Claremont could no longer handle the local arcade’s inability to accurately reflect their sense of self-worth. It, therefore, engaged the Hawaiian group and…

View More IN FOCUS: Claremont Quarter
BREAKING NEWS Featured

AFL Confirm 2021 WILL Be the First Grand Final to be Played in a Cave

Belle August 25, 2021

AFL CEO, Gill confirmed that WA and its society of cave-dwelling, primordial soup-sippers will be the destination for the grand final if Melbourne continues to…

View More AFL Confirm 2021 WILL Be the First Grand Final to be Played in a Cave
BREAKING NEWS Featured

New Mad Max to be Filmed in WA After “Convincing” Caravan Border Incident

Belle August 25, 2021

A woman towing a caravan yesterday decided that rather than calmly go through the checkpoint she would royally fark her shit up by trying to…

View More New Mad Max to be Filmed in WA After “Convincing” Caravan Border Incident
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Perth Warned – Only 2 Years to Prepare for Ellenbrook Assimilation

Belle August 24, 2021

Perth residents have been warned to start preparing for the inevitable assimilation of Perth with the micronation Ellenbrook as the Metronet project expects the traino…

View More Perth Warned – Only 2 Years to Prepare for Ellenbrook Assimilation
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Hillarys Property Sales Now Conditional on Local NIMBY Approval

Belle August 22, 2021

Hillarys NIMBYs have had an absolute gutful of new homeowners having the audacity to move into their suburb and simply “do as they please” with…

View More Hillarys Property Sales Now Conditional on Local NIMBY Approval
WA Culture & Notable Events

The Craft Beer Snob

Belle August 21, 2021 Drugs & AlcoholhipsterHobby

Craig looks like the end result of a lonely lumberjack banging his chainsaw and breeding an even bigger tool. His weird beer beret compliments his…

View More The Craft Beer Snob

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Trump denies desperation after begging Perth to send floating party cube to Strait of Hormuz
  • Coles and Woolworths thank petrol companies for taking the heat off them
  • Government permits Woodside to pump crude oil directly into motorists’ tanks to alleviate cost pressure
  • St Paddy’s Day sees statewide shortage of traffic controllers in WA
  • Australians allowed early access to super to afford Easter
  • BREAKING: Perth man nails beach conditions after demonstrating basic ability to read wind forecast

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