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The Bell Tower Times

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Tuesday, November 04, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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    Central accommodation, a feed and already dressed for his date with the Magistrate, Ascot race day Bogan winning

    A Perth bogan who found himself over refreshed and dangerously gee’d up has been counting his blessings while sitting in his piss soaked trousers at…

    Belle November 4, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 

    Authorities have put out an alert that it is highly likely you may fail a piss-test tomorrow if you were within a kilometre of the…

    Belle November 2, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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Perth & WA Locations

Mr Maylands

Belle February 27, 2021

As the gentrification wave sweeps through a suburb you are left with an abudnace of new cafes, increased property value and of course, the trend-humping…

View More Mr Maylands
Perth & WA Locations Travellers

Mr Dunsborough Blow-in

Belle February 26, 2021 CEODouthTravelwanker

Every set of holidays, Dunsborough is flooded with people that mistake not having a Cottesloe Golf Club membership with hardcore poverty and renting is for…

View More Mr Dunsborough Blow-in
WA Culture & Notable Events Perth & WA Locations

Ms WA Country Girl

Belle February 23, 2021 Countryfarmer

Tash is a hard rootin’, straight shootin’ Pilbara princess. In true form, after one too many Bundys & Coke at last year’s Newman Races, she…

View More Ms WA Country Girl
From the Zoo Uncategorized

IN FOCUS: EMU EXPORT

Belle February 23, 2021

WA has a love affair with the red can. Whether you are getting intoxicated during a cyclone or appropriating bogan culture in your gentrification den,…

View More IN FOCUS: EMU EXPORT
Reckons

Top Signs You May Be An Anti-Vaxxer

Belle February 19, 2021 HealthMedicinePseudo Science

1. You reckon you are the most qualified person to make decisions about your kid’s health You may not have any “qualifications” or “degrees” but…

View More Top Signs You May Be An Anti-Vaxxer
Sports, Auto & Hobbies

Mr Rotto Swim

Belle February 19, 2021 sports

If private schooling had a smell, it would probably smell like fluoro coloured speedos mixed with daddy’s boat fumes; and William absolutely reeks of it.…

View More Mr Rotto Swim

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Central accommodation, a feed and already dressed for his date with the Magistrate, Ascot race day Bogan winning
  • Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 
  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

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  • Perth Driver Accused Of Being A Witch After Failing To Slam Brakes Upon Entering Tunnel
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  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
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