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The Bell Tower Times

The Bell Tower Times

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Saturday, November 01, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

    Authorities are suspicious of a little shop that mysteriously popped up in Hakea prison ahead of the 2026 smoking ban.  Prison officers have said the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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Lifestyle, Love & Parenting

Ms Perth Cat Owner

Belle March 12, 2020

Ever since Siobhan dived into Perth’s dating-pool she has dreamed of being liberated from the drowning boredom of existence like the beautiful lady-bug she is.…

View More Ms Perth Cat Owner
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: Being The Neighbourhood BMX Bandito

Belle March 10, 2020

The most important thing to understand about the BMX bandit lifestyle is that it chooses you – you do not choose it. Consider it the…

View More IN FOCUS: Being The Neighbourhood BMX Bandito
Lifestyle, Love & Parenting

Ms “I’m Getting Married!”

Belle March 7, 2020

Unbeknownst to Dan, Mel had been planning her wedding long before the two had even met. Dan was simply the compliant sack of ring bearing…

View More Ms “I’m Getting Married!”
WA Culture & Notable Events

Ms Playboy Seat Covers

Belle March 5, 2020 Bogan

How do you show the world that you fell off the sick bish tree and hit every branch on the way down? Pink Playboy seat…

View More Ms Playboy Seat Covers
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: The Highway to Hell

Belle March 3, 2020

On the 1st of March, a large section of Canning Highway was closed off for a rolling AC/DC Highway to Hell Tribute. The song itself…

View More IN FOCUS: The Highway to Hell
Sports, Auto & Hobbies

Mr Gym Selfie

Belle March 2, 2020 Cringeexercisewanker

Todd hovers around the free weights at Healthy Life while flicking through his own Instagram account. It’s been 25 minutes, and Todd hasn’t lifted a…

View More Mr Gym Selfie

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced
  • AFL vows to not rest until it has alienated every single fan with needless rule changes 

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  • Perth Driver Accused Of Being A Witch After Failing To Slam Brakes Upon Entering Tunnel
  • Leering Tradie Alleges He Was Catfished After Driver Of P-Plated Suzuki Swift Turned Out To Be Middle Aged Man
  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 
  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
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