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The Bell Tower Times

The Bell Tower Times

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Friday, October 31, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

    Authorities are suspicious of a little shop that mysteriously popped up in Hakea prison ahead of the 2026 smoking ban.  Prison officers have said the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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From the Zoo Uncategorized

IN FOCUS: The Green Mitsi Pinga

Belle October 15, 2019

Back in the golden age of pingas a few eyed off the crown. One contender to the throne was the green mitsi – a super…

View More IN FOCUS: The Green Mitsi Pinga
Party & Entertainment

Mr Adventure World Adults Only Pool Party

Belle October 10, 2019

Brendo has a dream. A dream that finger blasting single mothers can coincide with the freedom to piss anywhere he likes. A dream that he…

View More Mr Adventure World Adults Only Pool Party
Uncategorized Party & Entertainment

Ms Oktoberfest

Belle October 9, 2019 EntertainmentFestivalinfluencerPartyWorld

Australians love Oktoberfest because they get to adopt and treat Bavarian culture like a red-haired orphan. Call it payback for Germany’s indiscretions over the years.…

View More Ms Oktoberfest
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: Mrs Mac’s Pies

Belle October 9, 2019

Mrs Mac’s are WA’s favourite pies but they harbour a dark past that many of us are blissfully unaware of – the company was started…

View More IN FOCUS: Mrs Mac’s Pies
From the Zoo

POSTCODES: Mandurah 6210

Belle October 4, 2019

Welcome to the City that gets more bad raps than an Aussie Hip Hop concert. Mandurah – it’s better than COVID! Getting There You may…

View More POSTCODES: Mandurah 6210
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: Scrunch Bum Leggings

Belle October 2, 2019

One consequence of the Beyoncefication of the world was white girls yearning to develop an arse with a gravitational pull. Of course, genetics is a…

View More IN FOCUS: Scrunch Bum Leggings

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced
  • AFL vows to not rest until it has alienated every single fan with needless rule changes 

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  • Perth Driver Accused Of Being A Witch After Failing To Slam Brakes Upon Entering Tunnel
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  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 
  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
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