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The Bell Tower Times

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Saturday, November 01, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

    Authorities are suspicious of a little shop that mysteriously popped up in Hakea prison ahead of the 2026 smoking ban.  Prison officers have said the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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Reckons

So, you are joining the Perth Glory Bandwagon?

Belle May 16, 2019

You may be thinking, “Perth Glory? Didn’t we take that off the hinges and exhibit it in the museum?” A fair mistake to make, but…

View More So, you are joining the Perth Glory Bandwagon?
From the Zoo Uncategorized

IN FOCUS: NEW BALANCE SNEAKERS

Belle May 13, 2019

Fuck off. You genetic clone. You never swing as low. You’ll never be that man who did what it took to don the mid-life-crisis-kicks. The…

View More IN FOCUS: NEW BALANCE SNEAKERS
Sports, Auto & Hobbies

Mr “I’m in a Corporate Box”

Belle May 7, 2019

For 5 years, Gregory was an office piglet, madly feasting on the scraps his power-broking bosses threw his way. A free lunch here, a golf…

View More Mr “I’m in a Corporate Box”
From the Zoo Uncategorized

The Legend of the Perth Wheel Clamp Man

Belle April 25, 2019

In 2012, Perth was shaken by the actions of one man. Few people have stood so defiantly at the urinal of civil obedience and unleashed…

View More The Legend of the Perth Wheel Clamp Man
From the Zoo Bell Tower Times Uncategorized

POSTCODES: Cottesloe 6011

Belle April 24, 2019 Golden Triangle

With the ocean to one side and Stirling Highway to the other, Cottesloe thought they did all they could to stop commoners from gaining access…

View More POSTCODES: Cottesloe 6011
Work & Study

The Perth Apprentice

Belle April 22, 2019 Bogantradie

Harlee is a brand-spankin’ new apprentice and has just landed a job working for his uncle, Trev. Unfortunately, he needs a couple of payslips before…

View More The Perth Apprentice

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced
  • AFL vows to not rest until it has alienated every single fan with needless rule changes 

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  • Perth Driver Accused Of Being A Witch After Failing To Slam Brakes Upon Entering Tunnel
  • Leering Tradie Alleges He Was Catfished After Driver Of P-Plated Suzuki Swift Turned Out To Be Middle Aged Man
  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 
  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
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