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The Bell Tower Times

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Monday, November 03, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 

    Authorities have put out an alert that it is highly likely you may fail a piss-test tomorrow if you were within a kilometre of the…

    Belle November 2, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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Lifestyle, Love & Parenting Travellers

The Grey Nomads

Belle July 14, 2018 Boomermotoring

Harold’s oversized, dawdling caravan is a perfect metaphor for his need to keep society from progressing. Whether it be the road to your first investment…

View More The Grey Nomads
WA Culture & Notable Events

Ms Plastic Bag Ban

Belle June 27, 2018 BoomerMajor EventMummy

Its been a week since the plastic bag ban and Sue isn’t taking it well. How could these corporate fuck-monkeys be so cruel to fling…

View More Ms Plastic Bag Ban
Sports, Auto & Hobbies

Mr World Cup

Belle June 15, 2018 Major Eventsports

Like Cardinal Pell receiving a summons to a Royal Commission Chris suddenly has a fever, to be specific soccer fever, which conveniently manifests itself quadrennially…

View More Mr World Cup
Work & Study

The Buzzfeed / VICE Journalist

Belle April 12, 2018 employmenthipsterInternetJournalism

Lauren always wanted to be a journalist but she always found the news to be a total snore-fest. There was only one thing for it…

View More The Buzzfeed / VICE Journalist
WA Culture & Notable Events

Mrs Neighbourhood Watch

Belle April 5, 2018 MummyNeighbourhood

Like a disorientated Big Bird at a Sesame Street suckatorium, Karen is always sticking her beak where it doesn’t belong. She is the sheriff in…

View More Mrs Neighbourhood Watch
Sports, Auto & Hobbies

Mr Aussie Cricket Scandal

Belle March 27, 2018 Major Eventsports

For over a century the Aussie cricket team has served as guardians of Australia’s moral compass. If they were playing fair, honest cricket then we…

View More Mr Aussie Cricket Scandal

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 
  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

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