Lawyer Praises WA’s Ambulance Ramping For Taking The Chase Out Of Ambulance Chasing

A WA personal injury lawyer has heaped praise on WA’s atrocious ambulance ramping figures stating, “business has never been better”.

Ordinarily, most of his day would be spent eagerly listening in on a police scanner radio to identify future “no-win, no fee” clients. However, it wasn’t an easy game. 

Speaking to The Bell Tower Times, the lawyer who wishes to remain anonymous said,

“If I get in quick enough, I can slip them my business card and blow enough litigation smoke up their arse before the ambo arrives but that’s not always possible. Likewise, once the ambulance has them into the ED I’m told to piss off because I’m interfering with life saving treatment or whatever”

Now, the ambulances waiting to hand over patients to the ED can wait over 30minutes. Which in this lawyer’s eyes makes them “sitting ducks”.

He continued, 

“The WA public sees a hospital system in crisis but see I fat stacks of cold hard cash baby. Just between you and me, seeing a big line of idling ambulances makes my dick hard”

Simply put, the worse ambulance ramping gets, the more opportunity he has to ply his trade. In 2021, he managed to sign up 14 new clients on just one trip to RPH. 

In fact, times are so good that he has decided to set up a mobile office in a van that parks outside RPH, Fiona Stanley and his personal favourite Rockingham Hospital.

“You tell someone heavily under the influence of la-la-gas that you’ll get them a five-figure payout on a ‘no-win, no-fee’ basis and they pretty much blow their load right there and then.”

He briefly entered a cash-money-trance as he reflected on his ballooning bank account. He composed himself to continue,

“Just between you and me, ‘no-win, no-fee’ pretty much means we’ll settle on a figure lower than they expect which will predominantly go towards my legal fees ha ha ha, brilliant”

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