For years, the Karratha community could never understand how Tyrone always had superior muscle mass. It seems like they were all injecting as much juice and eating as many eggs as humanly possible. So what was giving Tyrone the edge?
Well, it turns out Tyrone was a prolific snacker and as a way of dealing with the relentless flies, he decided to embrace his buzzing friends as a convenient source of protein. He told The Times,
“Bro, when I moved to the Pilbara I realised two things – one, you can’t escape flies and two, meat is hell expensive. Then I had one of those epiphanies while arguing with a bouncer”
Tyrone took a moment to lick up the flies that had accumulated on his mouth area during the chat before continuing,
“I was screaming at this dog so hard that I didn’t realise a fly crawled into my mouth. I ended up swallowing it by accident and realised that it wasn’t so bad. Free protein brah. I’ve eaten every single fly I could since and trust me that’s a lot of fkn flies up here mate”
He’s not kidding. In just a day, Tyrone will ingest an extra 1-2kg of fly protein a day. Leaving his competition in his wake. We spoke to a rival strongman who said he always suspected Tyrone was doing something disgusting,
“What a sicko. Great body but that’s hell nasty. Do you know before he leaves the gym he smashes a Powerade and never wipes any of overflow from his mouth. Now I know why, he’s attracting flies with the sugary nectar”
While Tyrone is getting additional protein, his GP is worried about the possibility of a severe infection by eating a fly that has recently been chowing down on some shit. His doctor told The Times,
“Tyrone tells me that he has so many steroids, gear and Red Bull flowing around his body that no infection known to man can survive in him. I tell him there is no science to back that up but he’s never been sick so, maybe? I suppose”
Well done Tyrone. Making the most out of your environment.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
