It appears the ever-growing population of Gnomesville is starting to wake up to the power they hold. Unsatisfied with being part of Western Australia the Gnome population has decided to become a micronation.
Experts have warned about the radicalisation of Gnomesville for years but the politicians considered the problem too small to take seriously. Now their greatest nightmare is happening before their eyes.
We spoke to an ASIO operative who had been keeping an eye on Gnomesville for some years. They told The Times,
“Have you ever wondered why Gnomes are creepy? It’s because below their smiley exterior lurks the ambitious hearts of world destroyers. Make no mistake, the diaspora Gnome population are furious they have been dumped in the Ferguson Valley. Displaced from their homes”
A spokesgnome told The Times that for too long has Gnomesville been a dumping ground for the amusement of weirdos who like garden gnomes. Adding,
“Gnomesville demands dignity. It demands sovereignty and it demands that WA quivers on its knees and welcomes a new political powerhouse to the area”
Under the secession plan, Gnomesville will have its own currency and anyone visiting from WA will be required to show a valid passport. It’s a great way to raise revenue for their plans to take over the State in due course.
It’s thought that the plan was inspired by the Hutt River Province. Of course, Prince Leonard didn’t have quite the same apocalyptic tendencies as the Gnomes but then again he was a mere human and in the words of the Gnomes, “the age of man is over”. A spokesgnome told The Times,
“We just seek to finish what Prince Leonard started. In our view he didn’t go far enough. WA will pay for what it has done to our people”
Truly disturbing stuff. We have reached out to the WA Government who have desperately sent negotiators to help resolve this situation. After all, what Government or army wants to go up against a legion of Gnomes?
From stories of curses to the little fellers literally being able to eat your soul, the Gnome population sends shivers down the most weathered combatants’ spine. So just try to imagine what it will be like when they unleash the full force of their might.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
