You think you know pranks? You merely adopted pranks, Kyle was born into pranks, molded by pranks ever since his mum pranked his dad by forgetting to take the pill one fateful month.
Unfortunately for Kyle, every prank has an equal and opposite re-prank and for him, that was his father refusing to make eye contact with him most days, so he learned to fill that love-shaped hole with clownish behaviour and juvenile stunts.
Like most of his dick brained idols his prankster-preneurship started when he got a smartphone and YouTube channel, and much like Spongebob Squarecunt boning Patrick starfish style, his pranks were boring and awkward to watch.
Nevertheless, he persisted and at the tender age of 26, he impressed 14 year old morons by smashing a watermelon on the floor of Woolies. What a madman.
He had found his niche; inconveniencing minimum wage workers for his #Kygang, but as his YouTube channel grew his originality waned. Views started to drop and he just couldn’t understand why no one wanted to watch a 26-year-old dump a shopping trolley into the river anymore.
Perhaps he wasn’t begging hard enough for people to smash that like & subscribe button. Or perhaps the thumbnails he used weren’t zany enough. Either way, he needed change.
So he began stealing ideas like a hungry Amy Schumer at a comedy buffet. Lucky for Kyle he knew an “influencer” whose only real achievement in life was having the kind of well-toned peach Nick Cage could eat for hours.
He (and every other prank-stain) had worked out the secret to viral pranks: staging them with a hot chick. So he got her to “browse” for cereal while he ran up behind her and dacked her, exposing her g-stringed asset. He had dropped a pranktos into a bottle of coke and made a fizzy mess in all his 14-year-old viewers pants. 1 Million views baby.
His YouTube channel grew and any attractive job-phobic female was happy to be part of his bullshit. Despite the fame, he knew deep down he had betrayed his prank origins and felt like he had to return to his 14 year old glory years and do a real prank.
So Kyle stretches the limits of his creativity and decides to copy the ol’ shampoo at the beach showers prank. A true classic in the prank world. He attends Scabs with a bottle of pantene and attempts to squeeze a drop on the head of the bloke showering.
All the while, his mate films from a distance. Alas, Kyle isn’t the prankster he once was and the showering blokes spots him in his peripheral and gives him a big shove as a dollop of shampoo hits his eyes.
Kyle shits himself but is kinda stoked he actually got some real footage. However, he didn’t count on his intended target being a turbo-charged psycho who has just copped a load of shampoo to the eye.
Kyle begs for the beating to stop, “IT WAS JUST A PRANK BRO”. However, the beating doesn’t stop. He squeels for his cameraman to save him but his cameraman has biggest fish to fry.
Turns out a member of the public called some cops over because some fuckwit was filming an area with children present from behind a bin. He assures the police that he was just filming a prank but thanks to the Movember effort he forgot to shave off, they ain’t buying what he’s selling.
Now that’s a prank everyone can enjoy.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?