AFL fans outraged at allegations Brownlow votes were leaked and they didn’t get the mail

The Footy world has been left in shock over allegations an umpire leaked Brownlow votes to a group known to him to win a cutla cutlas on the night. What truly hurts every AFL fan isn’t the breach of trust it’s the fact none of the mail ended up in their WhatsApp group chat

A police operation was launched after suspicious betting activity was detected on Brownlow medal markets. As a result, a total of 5 men have now been arrested including an AFL umpire. We spoke to Toddy who said the news almost made him sick,

“Pretty bloody ordinary if you ask me. It’s the people’s game and only 4 kents get these sure things? Do you know how rare a sure thing is in this god-forsaken punting landscape? Dog act, bro, dog act”

This sentiment was echoed by a group of schoolmates who have enjoyed all the juicy AFL mail since their WhatsApp group chat’s inception several years ago. The creator of the group and hopeless punter told The Times,

“I think we are all reeling over the news, mate. Who can you trust these days if you can’t trust a dodgy group of footy punters to share the love. Some pretty selfish behaviour if you ask me, some pretty selfish behaviour indeed”

Legal experts agree that the real crime committed here was the lack of forwarding. With one top lawyer telling The Times,

“It’s not like match-fixing. No one gives a shit. Some parasitic betting agencies lost more coin. That’s good for society. What’s not good for society is how stingy these turds were with the tips. That’s what should be on trial”

We understand the Victorian Police Department is looking into charging the group under provisions of the Dog Act. Although, unfortunately, this act is rarely enforced and that really shows at times like these.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

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