Bunnings listens to customers: creates first swim-up sausage sizzle bar

Bunnings realised the only way to make their beloved sausage sizzles more Australian was to set up a Bali style swim-up bar to unite weekend warriors with the holy grail of the weekend snack scene.

It’s no secret that there has been a existential sadness case upon the community the closure of international borders. Thousands of West Aussies would usually be preparing to blow their tax return on a trip the holding cell of Denpasar airport.

To make the experience as close as possible to the real deal, punters will be encouraged to chuck a slash in the water. While they wait.

This is so everyone can enjoy the authentic feeling of marinating in a vat of human piss, Lynx body spray and STDs that could bore a hole in the Incredible Hulk’s cock.

The traditional payment method will be replaced with a barter system. Just like trying to deprive a poverty stricken car bumper sticker salesman of 50c, you will get the chance to make charities really work for their $2.

WorkSafe Australia has stated it will relax the requirement for onions to go on the bottom but will strongly enforce the requirement for volunteers to call the customers “boss”.

This is to prevent anyone getting injured while being dragged over a trestle table while getting screamed at because they forgot “who they were farken talking to”.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?