Concerns over Perth’s dryness as snorkel owners haven’t been able to dominate a puddle in 6 months

Experts have released a grim forecast that if the current trend of hot, dry summers continues then Perth’s 4WD community may not get a chance to use those brand spankin’ snorkels for 6+ months of the year.

The warning comes off the back of a dry spell in Perth that would put an Andrew Tate follower to shame. An expert told The Times,

“You have probably seen most verges around Perth returned to sand & dirt. You have probably seen the lakes in our parks drying up but have you seen the 300 series owner with a redundant snorkel attached crying like a baby in his garage that his rig hasn’t seen any suburban puddle action? Think about the real victims in this”

One snorkel owner was so desperate to feel the rush that he ran over his kid’s blow up pool in his front yard. It was a fleeting moment of madness that ultimately left him feeling ashamed.

Given the high percentage of the population affected by the lack of suburban puddles, the Westralian Government has considered cloud seeding to give them a day to feel like big men.

A spokesperson for the Westralian Government told The Times,

“It’s no secret that WA is crying out for a bit of rain at the moment. From the people who are trying to maintain English-style gardens to the snorkel community. We think a cloud seeding program to produce a few days of rain will really pick those spirits up”

Similarly, Emergency Services has fears for what will become of the snorkel community without some pitter patter. Adding,

“We fear that if the rain stays away for too much longer these 4WD nuffies might actually use the vehicles as they are intended and we all know the shitshow that will cause”

Troubling stuff indeed.

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