This is the weekend that Dale has finally made his accountant proud. Limiting himself to just 20 wild 50:1 mutlis across the weekends sporting fixtures.
Thanks to the grim spectre of inflation, Australians are doing a bit of belt tightening. Whether it be going out less, downgrading groceries or in Dale’s case going *slightly* easier on the punt.
Dale was power-gulping pints of Swan as he mused about his newfound sense of fiscal responsibility,
“I placed 35 last weekend. You know how much I won? Bout 200 ay. Lost $600 but they were so close bro. Ah, the misso reckons I’m a sucker so I’m trying to budget a bit and cutting down on me punts”
Further evidence that Dale is a changed man can be seen in the punts themselves. He told The Times,
“Sticking to no more than 5 legs ay, also trying to keep the total odds to about 20 or under. Hoping to only lose about $400 this weekend. Times are tough bro”
At his worst, Dale was putting on hourly 12+ leg bets in an increasingly desperate attempt to blow his admittedly high disposable income.
This afternoon he even bucked the trend by putting a single bet on the Essendon line. Previously unheard of for the plumbing extraordinaire.
In addition to cutting down on the punt, Dale has stopped buying 2 drinks at a time due to the ancillary costs of the practice,
“If I’m honest I was getting pretty maggot by about 3 pm which would lead to 10 extra multis, a 10 pack of Wild Turkey for the night, and then a disgusting UberEATS order. Hopefully halving my drink rate will motivate me to settle for the chicken nuggets I already got at home”
Of course, everyone who knows Dale expects this newly reformed version of himself to crumble after the 3rd pint. At which point, he will leap balls deep into as many absurd mutlis as possible.
If only to feel something in these cold, bleak, uncertain times.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
