WA Appeals To Eastern State Workers – Come For Cheap Gas, Stay For Abundant Lettuce 

WA is positioning itself to be the “land that eastern state problems forgot” with sensational deals on domestic gas usage and a fairly reasonable lettuce situation. 

It may not seem like a normal pitch to attract workers, but high on 2022, it is. In fact, it’s the talk of the eastern seaboard at the moment. From skateparks to RSL’s, WA’s gas & lettuce situation is on everyone’s lips.

A spokesperson for the WA Government told The Times,

“It’s no secret we have labour shortages in certain sectors so our message is clear to Eastern State’s residents – come to WA and have a daily gas & iceberg fiesta. We won’t ask you to ration your power usage either unless it’s on one of those dogshit hot Summer days”

Indeed, as utility prices continue to soar over east, WA residents are grabbing a plate at the all-you-can gas buffet. A major drawcard in this inflationary shitshow we are calling a world at the moment. 

A Melbourne nurse said she was pretty tempted by the promises being made by WA. Adding, 

“On the one hand, I won’t have anyone to talk NRL to but on the other hand I’ll have guilt-free showers and a salad that won’t break the budget. I’m told I may need to live in my car for several weeks before finding a rental though? Cool, I guess”

A young Sydney tradie made the move to find a new life in WA’s exciting mining industry. He told The Times,

“I could’ve counted the number of times I’ve eaten lettuce on one hand but I guess it’s a case of wanting what you can’t have and I’m smashing it mate. I feel like all fancy n shit cos the only people eating lettuce back home at gazillionaires”

To sweeten the deal, WA is also offering any Eastern Staters a seat on the Flagmantle bandwagon. A spokesperson told The Times,

“It’s important you adapt to WA life when you move here as the locals can be a little frosty when it comes to east coast differences. So stop banging on about Origin, because no one cares, and get behind the Dockers”

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?