Perf Yearns For The Days You’d Nearly Miss Flights Due To a Big Plane Not Airport Chaos

The daily mayhem at Perth domestic airports has punters yearning for a simpler time. When they’d nearly miss their flight due to a big plane coming to visit or the grand opening of a department store (rest easy Antonov you majestic beast).

It was a simpler time. A purer time. A time when you could blame Perth culture as a whole for missing your flight. Rather than the airport being run like a shitshow.

The Times spoke to Jack who had been lining up for an hour for his flight up North. He told us,

“It’s been a real slog. 30 minutes at boarding pass stations, 30 mins at bag drop off and the situation at security looks FUBAR mate. I miss the days I could just blame some farkwit wanting to be first at the DFO grand opening or some shit ay”

Another punter legitimately feared he’d miss his flight as he heard the last call for his plane while he was still in the security line. He told The Times,

“It’s like the Costco grand opening every single morning. You think you’re sweet getting to a domestic flight 2 hours early, it’s not like traffic is banked up to Tonkin because a big arse plane is in town”

Labour shortages are mostly to blame for the lengthy waits at Perth domestic as it scrambles to find adequate staff to ensure the transit machine is well lubed. 

To help normalise the experience, Qantas has considered setting up a pop-up taco stand on Tonkin Highway to help passengers miss their flights the old-fashioned way. At the very least it will be nostalgic and take some of the heat off them. 

However, the excuse isn’t winning over any hearts. Seasoned campaigner and regular passenger Don told The Times,

“At least when I missed my flight due to cheap petrol one year I was in my car. I just went apeshit in my little secluded sanctuary and it was very therapeutic. You want to vent in the airport but you know it’s not the staff’s fault. It’s frustrating mate”

Qantas has in part admitted their services are lacking but urges punters to reflect on Alan Joyce’s generous bonus and beautiful Sydney mansion. 

Millions in Jobkeeper well spent. I think every frustrated passenger can agree. 

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?