Cowaramup Concerned It Hasn’t Gone Hard Enough On The Whole Cow Thing

The greatest minds in the South West remain vexed as to whether they have laid the whole “cow theme” thick enough as they walk around the town. The question on everyone’s lips is, “have we milked this hard enough?”

It has been over 10 years since 42 fibreglass cows were placed around Cowaramup. A town that is kinda related to cows. After all, there is a dairy industry but more importantly, it’s there right in the name. Although it’s named after the cowara bird, who is going to climb on a bird statue for a selfie?

You can barely walk 10m without running into some kind of cow imagery, some wish that was a shorter distance. We spoke to a pro-cow town local who said the very streets of Cowaramup should be painted the pattern of a cow’s hide. Adding,

“Yeah, the cow thing slaps you in the face but we want it to latch on like one of those sucker thingos from Alien. We want you to never want to see a cow again after you’ve left Cowaramup. The early planners didn’t think big enough. Let’s BEEF it up”

Indeed, another local is demanding all drink fountains to be replaced with an udder. Adding,

“We need more cows. Cows bring tourists. Tourists bring the money. I have been mooing at tourists for 10 years now. I don’t even say hello, I just moo right in their face. Get that cow up ya, ya bloody yuppie and buy some damn cow produce while you’re at it”

Other locals claim the whole cow theme has gone far enough. With some even believing it has gone too far. One local told The Times,

“Cow pattern roads? Udder water fountains? Mooing at bystanders? I feel like a quaint novelty has become mad cow disease to some! Every holiday season, parents turn their kids into calves with those onesies. I feel like I’m living in an alternate universe sometimes”

Nevertheless, the WA Government has agreed to provide funding for another 100 fibreglass cows and potentially a 100m behemoth to tower over the town. Forever under the gaze of its beady, dead eye. 

Lots to look forward to. 

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?