Chaos erupted in a boardroom overlooking the Swan River this morning after a newly minted director revealed himself as being merely an “authorised user” of a Rotto mooring site licence.
The shocking revelation came as some of the swingin’ dicks began to muse about whether they would take their boats over to Rotto for the 5 day holiday they’ll treat themselves over the grand final long weekend.
A source close to a fully-fledged mooring site licensee in the meeting that day told The Times,
“They already had doubts about this new guy’s credentials. He was golden triangle but povo side of Nedlands golden triangle. They gave him the benefit of the doubt they really did but then he went and dropped a clanger”
It seems during the conversation the pleb-director mentioned that he’d certainly be joining them on their aquatic journey if his uncle (the licensee of the mooring) wasn’t using it. After the confession, you could hear a pin drop.
A witness to the shemozzle told The Times,
“You have to understand, they have a director in the bunch that hasn’t used his boat in 15 years but refuses to relinquish his mooring site licence. It’s a big deal to these people. Apparently, he just boomed, WHY DON’T YOU JUST RENT ONE OLD BOY *laughs silverspoonishly*”
To which another director piled on and decreed that the man forever be known as “ferry boy” – the ultimate level of disrespect in the elite Rotto boating community.
After a solid 15 minutes of mockery, some of the directors banded together and instructed in-house counsel to check the Corporations Act for any special provisions about getting rid of a director on the grounds of affluence-deception.
It’s a valid concern. With one director saying he felt “dirty” being around such a pleb, adding,
“I looked into this chap and it turns out he only owns a 25% interest in his boat too. What kind of riff-raff are we letting in these days? I was going to invite him as a guest to the golf club but certainly not now”
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?