Never one to be undone, a Mandurah man has taken the idea of setting up protective sun structures at the beach to a whole new level. Getting 4 mining dongas for his family’s little day at the beach today.
Starting the operation at 6 am, Big Kev’s mission was simple – show these cabana-erecting shanty-townists what a true obstruction of public space looks like. He told The Times,
“Ha ha, shove that up ya arses. I am so sick of going to the beach and dodging all these fkn cabanas mate. So I thought, I’d give me family the advantage and set up some fully airconditioned dongas for when they want to get out of the sun”
A witness at the beach said that the donga camp took up an extraordinary amount of space. Including the generator needed to fuel the air conditioning. They told The Times,
“We knew he was serious about taking up more space than he deserved when he got the bobcat out and started clearing a little road to his donga camp. He easily took up about 100m of public beach space. Very impressive”
By all accounts, Big Kev’s bobcat work was like watching a master craftsman at work. Silky smooth turns, flawless digs. He was the Jacques Sablet of skid steering. It even brought a tear to a local forklift operator’s eye.
Not everyone was impressed by the egregious space grab, however. With one cabana family telling The Times,
“The beach is for OUR family. We have 4 cabanas that we set up and everyone else is expected to work their way around us. This guy comes in with his bloody mining camp acting like he owns the joint!”
Object as they might, nothing is going to stop Big Kev having an excellent day at the beach. Having secured all the prime real estate and even installing a boom gate to prevent authorities from accessing his camp to have a go at him over all the piss on site. He told The Times,
“Yeah, got the gate put in and some of the youngsters will on lookout duty if they want any of this watermelon I brought. They know what happens if anyone snitches on Big Kev too”
You truly are living your best life Big Kev.
For more on Perth Beaches: Perth man who switched sides struggling with his new identity as a SOR beach goe
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
