Elite private school parents demand compensation for having to travel to the City of Armadale for the Head of the River

PSA rowing parents have once again been forced to make the pilgrimage to Champion Lakes, in the City of Armadale to watch their siverspoonlings complete in the associations most prestigious sporting competition.

Naturally, they long for the days the competition was held in Mount Pleasant, which, although is a SOR location it was at least palatable to their snobby tastes. Hence, the parents are demanding compo to deal with the anguish caused by this yearly event.

We spoke to a PSA parent from the Western burbs who told The Times the journey so deep into the South East was distressing for him. Adding,

“I had to ensure all my travel inoculations were to date. I even had to take my son’s older model Range Rover to avoid any chance of a SOR citizen becoming enraged on Tonkin Highway and defecating on my car. Which is what they do, I’m lead to believe”

Another PSA rowing mother said she had to bring extra mini bottles of Grey Goose in her bag to manage her anxiety. She told The Times,

“They have house & land packages out here, is that true? Why isn’t their armed checkpoints at the car park? What if they barbarians catch whiff that we are here? The horror. We shall be demanding compensation for our trauma!”

Needless to say, au pairs and butlers from the Western burbs have been ordered to stand guard of the luxury 4WD’s in the car park while the kids complete.

However, not everyone is so ridden with anxiety. We spoke to a parent of a SOR PSA school who told The Times,

“We’ve had to drive through Manning for years, so we understand danger. A lot of these NOR PSA schools are terrified, it’s great to see. Still, why are we here? Can you even call this the Head of the River if it’s in an artificial lake many kilometres from the actual river?”

The class action is expected to be filed sometime next month.

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