Mining magnate Gina Rinehart has called for a total backflip on the Bunbury outer ring road project with all future works to cease and all past works to be wiped from the Earth’s surface.
This sentiment has conveniently manifested itself after the billionaire took a controlling interest in the Bunbury Farmers Market. A spokesperson for her company told The Times,
“Gina is very alarmed that any would be encouraged to bypass Bunbury. Every Australian deserves the right to pass through Bunbury and be lured into the farmers market with promises of a good Instagram shot of their grocery haul”
Critics of the Bunbury Bypass cited a likely hit to Bunbury businesses from the early stages of the project. Gina was conveniently quiet then but now, not so much.
We spoke to a Douth commuter who admitted that the Bunbury Farmers Market had a gravitational pull on him. A sort of retail vortex he was unable to avoid, adding,
“Every trip down south I tell myself that I’ll just give it a miss. It’s so hectic and I end up buying way too many vegetables that I don’t eat because I’m too plastered on wine. My only chance would be a fully flowing bypass that I could veer into at the last minute in a blaze of glory”
Naturally, some are accusing the mining behemoth of acting with more than a touch of self-interest. We spoke to a local Bunbarian who was pro-bypass. She told The Times,
“It will greatly help congestion and if people really want to go to the market they can make that choice. I think Gina would cut Forrest Highway off at Vittoria Rd if she had her choice!”
Another critic of Gina who only gave his name as “Western Force Fan 69” said that he would take advantage of Gina’s lack of foresight. Adding,
“Think about it, a direct bypass to Busso. How does the Busselton Farmers Market & Rugby Oval sound? See, at least one of us is thinking big”
Somehow we think that Western Force Fan 69 is overestimating how keen people will be to make a pit stop in Busso. Twiggy, calm down.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
