Karrinyup Shoppers Assured If they Get In Now They “Should” Get Out of the Multi Level Car Park Before Christmas

Present-seeking punters are being assured that if they get their shopping done immediately they stand a chance of getting out of the Karrinyup Shopping Centre’s multi level car park before X-Mas. 

This comes as a relief as by all reports, AusPost and its contractors are nowhere near having their shit together to assure customers their packages will arrive before the big day.

An unofficial spokesperson for the centre told The Bell Tower Times,

“Look, if you get in now, and we mean like right now, there is a pretty solid chance you MIGHT escape the parking labyrinth before the 25th of December. Worst case scenario we’ll probably throw a little X-Mas day bash in the parking lot for all those that didn’t get out in time. Few carols, bitta finger food, lovely really”

Since the revamp, spending some quality time with the who’s who of day drunk ladies of leisure who can’t park a luxury 4WD in the Karrinyup car park has become a weekend staple for Perth’s northern affluent shopping community. Aggravated by the fact there is only one exit point. 

In fact, many people in the “pleasant North” have applauded the shopping centre for giving them a taste of the Claremont Quarter while staying North of Powis Street. 

We spoke to a Northern socialite and all-round Aldi brand golden triangler about her X-Mas shopping plans. She told us,

“It’s good to know you can rely on the local shopping centre. It’s going to be madness in the lead up to X-Mas but I trust we’ll get there. Last Saturday I spent an hour in the traffic jam but that was mostly my fault as I’d gone the wrong way and had a liddle widdle bingle he he, Vals are a hell of a drug”

Medium business owner and begrudging family man, “Dan”, told us, 

“I’m not in a rush, the thought of being trapped in the Karrinyup car park traffic jam appeals to me far more than another charade on X-Mas day. The kids know I cheated so it’s all just a bit awkward, maybe we could get some dogging going for those who are spending their time in the car park this festive season?”

Well, there you have it. Something for everyone in the Karrinyup car park. 

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

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