A self-admitted lawn addict has urged the public not to look at his pants region after getting a little too excited about a little rain this afternoon. It comes after a dry summer that left the man wanting, yearning, neeeeeeeding a bit of something something.
Fully pitched and oddly sticky, the man was seen yahoo’ing his way around his Bibra Lake property this afternoon. A neighbour told The Times,
“Yeah, classic old mate, he loves that lawn more than his kids. He definitely creamed his jeans, there’s just no denying it. Look at that patch right there. He’s farked mate”
Nevertheless, his lawn-addicted wife also “came” to his defence. Stating that her hubby is entitled to feel elation to the point of climax. Adding,
“If only you knew how hard this summer was. We got a little rain the other week but this afternoon’s meagre offerings is a sign from the heavens. It’s going to be a wet autumn and our grass is going to look fkn amazing”
BOM has declared the man’s peen region to be a localised tsunami. A title he is taking in his stride. He told The Times,
“My lawn is the only pleasure I get in life. So yeah, maybe I did spill my bucket over some light precipitation. So what? I’m pretty sure my neighbour down the road bangs his Hilux right up the exhaust pipe. It takes all sorts mate”
