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Millennial feels last piece of youth slip away after sunny day gets her amped to wash bed sheets

A Perth millennial has finally made the hard decision to accept her age in life after getting a little too excited at the prospects of a good “bed sheet washing day”. 

In her day, Kayla considered herself a bit of a party animal. Regularly staying up to watch the sunrise, going full throttle on Euro summers, and the occasional midweek sesh. 

Alas, fun-Kayla had all but faded away over the years as life’s obligations continued to crush her spirit into the full-blown adult you see before you today. 

Kayla said she thought she felt like she’d done a fat line of coke after walking outside to check the ferocity of the sun. Adding,

“I was pretty excited when the sun peeked through my window this morning but instead of thinking about a frosty pint in a beer garden I dared to wonder if I could get my sheets washed and dried”

Her own words seemed to cut through her like the savage scythe of reality harvesting what was left of her dreams. She paused before continuing, 

“What happened to me? What have I become? I used to still think I was young at heart and all that cliche bullshit but honestly, knowing I could retire to bed tonight on beautiful clean sheets had me absolutely pumping”

Not only did Kayla enjoy every single minute of hanging up her bed sheets but she even turned to her floor tiles and told them “you’re next”. She added,

“You can keep your Oktoberfests and Laneway festivals, I’ll have the unmitigated joy of knowing my tiles can be mopped and fully dry in a few hours. That’s my life now”

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

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