Mr Aussie Hip Hop

What are the five best hip hop songs of all time? Cosby Sweater, Cosby Sweater, Cosby Sweater, Cosby Sweater and Cosby Sweater, ‘cos Hilltop spit hot fire.

Colin aka MC Suv Cross’ style can be likened to a geared up Tradie aggressively explaining why his quote blew out on a Friday afternoon. In many regards, it is the musical equivalent of a coward punch to the side of the face.

Looks matter in this game and MC Suv Cross sits somewhere between “yo dawg” and “give us a fkn dart ya dog”. Flogged out Airmax, a prominent snapback and a long Adidas T with more dodgy stains than ol’ mate Bill’s sweater after trick or treat.

In 2016 Colin made his game legit. In a classic Aussie hip hop move he “soundproofed” his misso’s mum’s spare room with his childhood mattress, set up an old Dell laptop with speakers he rented with a fake ID and created his “beats lab”.

Now “beats lab” is a fairly generous description for a room littered with greasy Chicken Treat bags and is primarily used to download free stock instrumentals.

However the room provided plenty of inspiration, he even “caught his first case” to rap about after his misso’s mum took him to the small claims tribunal to repair the wall he spray-painted his name on.

Night after night MC Suv Cross would puff on a 5-month-old Powerade bong and write rhymes about his parents divorcing, racking paint cans and the hustle of selling sticks to his mates. Fire.

He got his first major break with a track about having to catch the bus every day because his dad lost his licence for drink driving. Everyone who listened to it agreed that it wasn’t quite as bad as the others. MC Suv Cross took this as a sign.

He paid his sister’s mates with UDLs to come and dance hoe-ishly around a below ground Buccaneer fibreglass pool while he spat rhymes while paying more attention to blacking up his hip hop hands like they were a kid going to Perth book week.

The boys all sipped from a mini bottle of entry-level Cognac, and of course, one guy who looked like he knew his way around a home alarm system was blowing clouds in the corner. Classic Aussie hip hop.

To promote his film clip, he decided to make up a story about his “struggle”. So like Michelangelo with a paintbrush covered in bullshit, he painted a dishonest masterpiece on the Cunt-stine Chapel and told everyone he was struggling with a Robitussin & Nurofen Plus addiction aka “Lynwood Lean”.

Now he’s fending off street cred with a stick.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?