Office bloke indulging in some “stress relief” about to learn how shadows work

A Perth office monkey should have paid attention in year 10 science when they taught students how shadows work after his shame was cast on the bathroom floor for all to see.

Somewhat foolishly, the man took his chance to duck into a cubicle and give his man-vine a Tarzan deathgrip after accidentally landing on the Perthnow homepage and being bombarded with OnlyFans content on his work computer. He told The Times,

“I started the ol tug of war with my purple headed yoghurt slinger and suddenly the fat piece of shit I work next to busts in and rushes to the cubicle next to me”

Left with his member in his hand, the man thought he’d apply some gentle courtesy rubs to keep his position until the shitsunami raging next to him had passed.

Alas, he could be as subtle as he liked, there was nothing saving him from what the other bloke saw. The man told The Times,

“Yeah clear as day, he had his ol boy in his mitt and was clearly having a go on himself ha ha. I took a photo and in my haste to show all the other boys at work I may have forgotten to wash my hands. Ah well”

It didn’t take long for the entire office to be snickering with delight. We spoke to an admin worker who had already knocker up several memes. She told The Times,

“When he came out I asked him why he looked so relaxed haha! The guilt all over his public wankin’ face. What a grub. Can’t wait to get him tissues for Secret Santa this year”

Not everyone was jumping on the opportunity to laugh behind his back. Especially young Simon who was averaging 2 a day for the past 4 years. He told The Times,

“Aw shit. Fkn shadows. There is absolutely no chance I haven’t been stitched up by them too. If they think this blokes a grub they’ll want me on a fkn watch list”

Stress relieve with caution, young players.

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