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Saturday, May 16, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

    New Perth to Bunbury train named The Polar Express in honour of how much ice she’ll move

    The Australind train is looking for a new name after the Premier called out to the public for some inspiration. Having already ruled out any…

    Belle May 15, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    King Neptune Park in Two Rocks expected to be completed before he awakens to feed again

    A highly anticipated reinvigoration of the area around King Neptune’s Statue in Two Rocks is expected to be completed before the Greek God’s next blood…

    Belle May 15, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Rockingham Man Names Daughter After Ex to Save on Tattoo Removal

    Dielyr was absolutely positive he was never going to regret getting “Krystal” tattoo’d prominently on his arm. After all, she was his ride or die…

    Belle May 14, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Hantavirus cruise passengers to complete 3-week quarantine in traffic after light drizzle forecast for Perth tomorrow

    The passengers from the ill-fated hantavirus cruise will fly into Perth tomorrow at the Netherlands unceremoniously told them to “rot op” or get the fark…

    Belle May 14, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    Coles begins asking customers if they’d like to round up & donate to their misleading conduct fine

    In news that will surprise no one, Coles has been found guilty of misleading consumers over it’s Down Down campaign by the Federal Court. The…

    Belle May 14, 2026
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

West Coast Eagles forced to install a Mitchell-proof fence around Mineral Resources Park 

Belle April 2, 2025

The West Coast Eagles have taken immediate action against repeated raids by former AFL player and current coach of the Hawks – Sam “Judas” Mitchell. …

View More West Coast Eagles forced to install a Mitchell-proof fence around Mineral Resources Park 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

An honest review of Perth tap water

Belle April 1, 2025

Let’s talk Western Australian tap water. Some people say it tastes like Aquaman’s precumies after a regrettable night with a garden of sea anemones. We’ve…

View More An honest review of Perth tap water
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Travel

Local weeb wants you bogans to know he was going to Japan before it was popular

Belle April 1, 2025

A Western Australian weeb or “anime-enthusiast” as he prefers to be called has launched an extraordinary attack on his fellow countrymen. Witnesses observed the fedora-clad…

View More Local weeb wants you bogans to know he was going to Japan before it was popular
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

BREAKING: Woolworths and Coles Admit to the Lot!

Belle April 1, 2025

In a move no one saw coming, Woolworths and Coles have released an extraordinary joint statement today copping the lot. From price gouging customers during…

View More BREAKING: Woolworths and Coles Admit to the Lot!
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

A Day In the Life Of A West Coast Supporter

Belle March 31, 2025 A Day In The Life OfAFLFooty

8:00 am – wake up and enjoy the brief flutter of time before I remember the never-ending nightmare. Groan as I battle another rage-hangover after…

View More A Day In the Life Of A West Coast Supporter
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

Bloke swaps goose that lays golden eggs for a regular hen as egg prices soar

Belle March 31, 2025

A Perth bloke who had the good fortune of coming across a goose that lays golden eggs has reevaluated his business model amid the soaring…

View More Bloke swaps goose that lays golden eggs for a regular hen as egg prices soar

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TRENDING NEWS

  • New Perth to Bunbury train named The Polar Express in honour of how much ice she’ll move
  • King Neptune Park in Two Rocks expected to be completed before he awakens to feed again
  • Rockingham Man Names Daughter After Ex to Save on Tattoo Removal
  • Hantavirus cruise passengers to complete 3-week quarantine in traffic after light drizzle forecast for Perth tomorrow
  • Coles begins asking customers if they’d like to round up & donate to their misleading conduct fine
  • Property investor forced to get into gas extraction to continue ripping off Australians

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