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The Bell Tower Times

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Monday, July 07, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Beef Wellington changes name to Beef Westminster following Balga’s successful rebrand

    The not-so-humble beef wellington has been dealt a fatal blow today after chief ambassador Erin Patterson was found guilty of her heinous crimes. In a…

    Belle July 7, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    Local eshay claims credit for improved SCG turf after supplying some eetswa grass to the adlays

    A local Sydney eshay has claimed credit for the improved SCG turf today after reportedly hooking them up with an “eetswa” deal on some top…

    Belle July 6, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    REPORT: Labubu is just Teletubbies for people who @ brands on IG pretending they have an endorsement

    The Times conducted a special report into the growing fad of buying Labubu plush toys. Delving into the bowels of social media, we discovered that…

    Belle July 5, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    Birkenstock urgently recall these things. No specific reason they’re just sorry for releasing them

    Birkenstock has urgently recalled all of their Boston shoe range after reflecting on what they unleashed on society. In a revised mission to “decuntify” the…

    Belle July 5, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    Qantas hackers now the custodians of millions of useless flight credits

    The group thought to be behind the Qantas hack have found themselves in the unenviable position of only being able to use the data to…

    Belle July 4, 2025
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Area women warned to expect flooding after local Eshay rocks Temu chain over shirt 

Belle June 12, 2024

Women in and around the Rockingham area have been warned to expect monsoonal floods in their undercarriages today after a local Eshay stepped out with…

View More Area women warned to expect flooding after local Eshay rocks Temu chain over shirt 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

WA bloke torn between large fish pic and HiVis work bathroom selfie for online dating profile

Belle June 11, 2024

 A Western Australian man has found himself in an enormous pickle this afternoon after his most recent long term relationship of 2 weeks abruptly ended. …

View More WA bloke torn between large fish pic and HiVis work bathroom selfie for online dating profile
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

R.M. Williams wearer assures you peasants that the high price tag is justified given they’ll last him for life

Belle June 10, 2024

Western Suburbs allrounder William has proudly shown off his 4th pair of R.M. Williams boots at work this morning. By all reports, it was an…

View More R.M. Williams wearer assures you peasants that the high price tag is justified given they’ll last him for life
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS WA suburbs & towns

The 13 Best Things to Do in Gosnells aka Gozzywood

Belle June 10, 2024 BTT Travel

1. Enjoy the thrill of a replacement bus  The quintessential activity in Gozzywood right now is enjoying the whirlwind of excitement that comes with catching…

View More The 13 Best Things to Do in Gosnells aka Gozzywood
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

REPORT: Local Swan Couldn’t Care Less About Your Commute

Belle June 9, 2024

A local swan who rose to fame in August for crossing the freeway has made it clear by her actions that she couldn’t give a…

View More REPORT: Local Swan Couldn’t Care Less About Your Commute
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

Perth Pub now requiring customers to download an App to use the toilets 

Belle June 9, 2024

A Perth pub has made the novel step of requiring all customers to download an app called Shitr to access their toilets.  The initiative comes…

View More Perth Pub now requiring customers to download an App to use the toilets 

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Beef Wellington changes name to Beef Westminster following Balga’s successful rebrand
  • Local eshay claims credit for improved SCG turf after supplying some eetswa grass to the adlays
  • REPORT: Labubu is just Teletubbies for people who @ brands on IG pretending they have an endorsement
  • Birkenstock urgently recall these things. No specific reason they’re just sorry for releasing them
  • Qantas hackers now the custodians of millions of useless flight credits
  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 

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  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 
  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
  • BoM To Reclassify Perth Storms Based On Likelihood Of Trampoline Blowing Away 
  • REPORT: Perth Man In Arctic Jacket & Shorts Doesn’t Care What You Think 
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