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Wednesday, November 05, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Pilbara Man Establishes Dominance by Refusing to Shoo Flies from Face In Front of Perth Coworkers

    Being born in the Pilbara, Rory swallowed 3 whole flies before he’d even left his mother’s womb as an infant. Some say the additional protein…

    Belle November 5, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Tradie notoriously careless with his screws & nails admits he’s on the payroll of big tyre

    A local Perth tradesman who is thought to be responsible for over 1000 ruined tyres per month has finally admitted his patented carelessness with nails…

    Belle November 5, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Ageing millennial never feels older than when looking at a festival line up

    A festival poster stuck to a fence has once again ruined an ageing millennials day as he did his best to recognise more than 1…

    Belle November 5, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times Business Entertainment

    Central accommodation, a feed and already dressed for his date with the Magistrate, Ascot race day Bogan winning

    A Perth bogan who found himself over refreshed and dangerously gee’d up has been counting his blessings while sitting in his piss soaked trousers at…

    Belle November 4, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 

    Authorities have put out an alert that it is highly likely you may fail a piss-test tomorrow if you were within a kilometre of the…

    Belle November 2, 2025
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

Brawl erupts at NOR shops as P!nk mums fight for last packet of pink hair dye

Belle March 1, 2024

Police have been called to a NOR Priceline this morning after a group of P!nk mummies escalated a dispute over a packet of pink hair…

View More Brawl erupts at NOR shops as P!nk mums fight for last packet of pink hair dye
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Reckons

5 Ways To Assert Your Boomer Dominance Over Your Neighbourhood

Belle February 29, 2024

Congratulations on your decision to move from casual suburban pest to a full-time rate paying Rambo that won’t rest until your enemies lay in a…

View More 5 Ways To Assert Your Boomer Dominance Over Your Neighbourhood
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

Motocross community clear busy schedules of popping wheelies in Armadale to meet Carey Hart

Belle February 29, 2024

The Perth motocross community has made the tough sacrifice of cancelling their usual plans to attend a meet and greet with motocross legend Carey Hart…

View More Motocross community clear busy schedules of popping wheelies in Armadale to meet Carey Hart
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Perth’s Perves Rejoice Speed Limit on West Coast Drive Reducing to 40km/h

Belle February 28, 2024

It’s a great day for Perth’s leering community after it has been announced the speed limit on West Coast Drive will be lowered to 40km/h.…

View More Perth’s Perves Rejoice Speed Limit on West Coast Drive Reducing to 40km/h
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

A Day In The Life Of A Range Rover Driver 

Belle February 28, 2024 A Day In The Life OfGolden Triangle

9:00 am – awaken to boorish knocking and aggressive phone calling from a tradesman. He claims he’s been here since 8:30. I try to remind…

View More A Day In The Life Of A Range Rover Driver 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

Perth managers prepare for rare peaceful Saturday as the usual suspects will be at P!nk

Belle February 28, 2024

Perth managers across the entire range of hospitality are preparing for the most peaceful Saturday on record this weekend. Obviously, excluding those poor souls stuck…

View More Perth managers prepare for rare peaceful Saturday as the usual suspects will be at P!nk

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Pilbara Man Establishes Dominance by Refusing to Shoo Flies from Face In Front of Perth Coworkers
  • Tradie notoriously careless with his screws & nails admits he’s on the payroll of big tyre
  • Ageing millennial never feels older than when looking at a festival line up
  • Central accommodation, a feed and already dressed for his date with the Magistrate, Ascot race day Bogan winning
  • Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 
  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

SUPPORT THE BTT

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  • Perth Driver Accused Of Being A Witch After Failing To Slam Brakes Upon Entering Tunnel
  • Leering Tradie Alleges He Was Catfished After Driver Of P-Plated Suzuki Swift Turned Out To Be Middle Aged Man
  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 
  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
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