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Monday, November 03, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 

    Authorities have put out an alert that it is highly likely you may fail a piss-test tomorrow if you were within a kilometre of the…

    Belle November 2, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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BREAKING NEWS Featured

Upcoming 30-degree day only thing standing between Perth woman and debilitating post-5 day holiday blues 

Belle September 24, 2022

Perth woman, Stephanie, once again flew too close to the sun and lived every day of the 5-week break like she never had to work…

View More Upcoming 30-degree day only thing standing between Perth woman and debilitating post-5 day holiday blues 
BREAKING NEWS Featured

WA man forced to feign interest in family to fill void between footy and test cricket season

Belle September 24, 2022

It’s always a difficult time of the year for sports fanatic Todd. Especially given the lacklustre end to the footy season. To say he’s fangin’…

View More WA man forced to feign interest in family to fill void between footy and test cricket season
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Man sucked into working today “doing it tough” with late start, empty office and upcoming 4-hour lunch

Belle September 23, 2022

Friends and family of Perth man, Stuart, are urged to spare a thought for their fallen soldier as he bravely heads into work to do…

View More Man sucked into working today “doing it tough” with late start, empty office and upcoming 4-hour lunch
BREAKING NEWS Featured

WA man obviously still pretty deep in mourning judging by that 2nd carton of Cruisers purchase

Belle September 22, 2022

Bralyn has spent this national day of mourning paying tribute to the Queen in the only way he knows how to – jet skiing, punching…

View More WA man obviously still pretty deep in mourning judging by that 2nd carton of Cruisers purchase
claremont royal show parking
Bell Tower Times Local

Family struggling with cost of living “comforted” by how much Claremont residents will make renting out their verges to them this weekend 

Belle September 22, 2022 Golden Triangle

A young Baldivis family has made every sacrifice imaginable to save up enough cash to treat their two kids to a day out at the…

View More Family struggling with cost of living “comforted” by how much Claremont residents will make renting out their verges to them this weekend 
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Petrol stations to hand out free K-Y for when they bend us over the petrol barrel next week 

Belle September 21, 2022

Petrol stations around WA will be handing out free testers of K-Y jelly to “help with the sting” when they absolutely ream us next week. …

View More Petrol stations to hand out free K-Y for when they bend us over the petrol barrel next week 

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 
  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

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